I know we’re not together, but if we were, this is how I always imagined we would be:
I’d take you out and we’d go on all the simple dates together.
We’d go to each others’ houses to watch your favorite chick flicks, and I’d focus all my attention on you and how your eyes show so much compassion and sympathy toward the characters in the movie. You’d notice me being mesmerized by you, and you’ll laugh because you think I’m being stupid, but you still think it’s cute, so we’d kiss anyway.
On days when we were both too busy to see each other, I’d drive over to your house at night and pick you up so we could go stargazing together out on the beach. I’ll bring us a couple blankets for us to lay on and wrap ourselves with. I’d be lying right beside you, and you’d be talking about your day, while I listen to every detail. Then I’d tell you I got a little jealous at the part when you said you had a small conversation with another guy.
I’d go shopping with you, and I’d buy you clothes based off of the things I know you like to wear. I’d secretly try to make sure you don’t buy anything that’ll keep you warm, so that on the nights we’re out together, I’d be able to lend you my jacket when you’re feeling cold. But I’d still ask you to buy clothes that’ll cover you up, because I want you to respect yourself, and because I don’t want other guys looking at you. When we’re shopping, I’d even let you put some ridiculous clothes on me, even though you know I hate it, just so you could get a laugh.
When it gets really hot, I’d take you out to your favorite frozen yogurt place, and we’ll order the craziest things together. For example, you’d get peanut butter kiwi pistachio with pecan, honey, and mini marshmallow toppings, and I’d get blueberry original pomegranate with almonds, honey dew, and oreo cookie toppings. Then we’d share, and we’d start to make faces at each other because of how ridiculous our yogurt tastes. While we’re eating, we’d compete over who makes the silliest faces, and who has the best jokes. You’d pretend to laugh at all my jokes, even if they’re not funny, and then I’ll fall harder in love with you because I know you mean well.
Then after all our dates, we’d go over to your house and I’d leave you with a goodbye kiss. And right when you get into your house, I’d be all corny with you and immediately send you a text that already says, “I miss you”. Then you’d see the text and grin at how stupid I am, and you’ll open your front door and tell me I’m a loser, and that you love me anyway.
On nights when we’re fighting over something silly, I’d call you up and we’d spend all our time talking our feelings out, being as blunt as possible. We’d talk out everything, just as long as the truth comes out. We’ll get
a little overly emotional, and we’ll want to walk away from each other. But at that point, I’ll rush over to you and hold you like there’s no tomorrow. I’d squeeze you hard enough for you to know that even though we were fighting, I was so afraid of losing you. I’d hold you so tight, you’d realize that I never want to feel that way again. We’d cry it out like the crybabies we are, and then we’d feel better again, and instead of going back to the way we were, we’d be better in our relationship. Then I’d text you the morning after, with the longest apology and the sweetest good morning text.
I know this sounds like much. And a lot of people tell me that I’m dreaming. But I really wish you’d understand how strongly I feel for you. And how much I care for your happiness.